So today I got up with lots of motivation to clean! I got my shower and started laundry. I forgot the kids I would take them to the dollarstore. So in the mist of my motivation we headed out the door. I was still inside when Hannah started yelling......"MOMMY! a Moo's baby is on the ground". I went running. For some reason she kept rejecting this bunny. She kept moving him out of the nest and away from her other babies. So I picked him up and he was soo cold and was barely moving. I knew this couldn't be good. So hoping for a miracle I put Tiny (that's what we call him, he was the runt) back in the nest with the others.

Came back from the store and Tiny just wasn't moving much at all. So I'm a mess. I feel like these bunnies are my own babies. I took Tiny inside and wrapped him in a heating pad and tried to get him warm. Then I called my mom and asked my brother to bring over kitten bottles so I could try to feed tiny warm milk. You can tell he was dehydrated. I'm not sure if she wasn't feeding him or what. So I force fed him sugar water to try to get his blood sugar up. Hoping he would perk up a bit. Nothing worked! I'm rocking this little baby like he's my own talking to him like he's a human. His breath got very shallow and he completely stopped moving. My brother had just came in. Tiny passed before I could try to feed him. I'm heart broken. I feel responsible. I should have realized when she was rejecting him there was a reason and I could have saved him before he dehydrated.

I burried Tiny in the backyard today in a little box that had yellow duckies all over it. People keep telling me it's just a bunny and it's nature but these babies are my babies. I only knew Tiny for 4 short days but that little guy will always have a piece of my heart.

I so can't believe it's July 1st! It's been a great day so far. Ok besides for the fact Emma peed all over my bathroom floor trying to play ds and potty at the same time. Well she cleaned it up... well at least tried. She used a whole new roll of TP to sop up her pee. Oh well what can ya do. lol But Bj started his jump start kindergarden class today!!! Ohhh peace! I know he starts most of the trouble because the kids today haven't been fighting at all today. It was so funny today....You so can tell the kids that have never been to school from the kids who have. The kids who haven't don't know their last names and cried their eyes out.....LOL I saw alot of parents crying too. I guess I'm a bad mom because I walked to my car skipping and smiling. lol I love my Bubba but it's nice to miss him sometimes also.

I saw a job ad on craigslist for a receptionist position in a salon. That would be great for me to do part time! I applied but I was up front and told them I could only work after school and every other weekend. I doubt I will hear from them because after I sen it I realized I made an ass of myself making demands for a job I don't even have. Oh well I just didn't want to waste anyones time. Ya know?

I so badly need some motivation!! I want to go through mine and Bran's clothes and throw stuff and freecycle the others. Our dressers are over flowing with lots of clothes we don't even wear. Ok so it's finally before I go to bed tonight I will go through the clothes!

Well enjoy the sunshine!

  A friend of mine posted this quote on facebook the other day,"If you don't pray when it's sunny don't bother praying when it's rains". Wow I'm totally good for this one...... Not praying and thanking God for blessings but of course praying when things don't go my way... I don't know. Just kinda food for thought!

Well I haven't blogged in a while. Guess I have been having my own private pitty party. Yeah as you can tell I do that alot. I just don't want to bring everyone down with me.

Anywho.... Alicia's shower was this weekend. It went really well. Everyone who cares about her was there. ( Katie and Aunt Sandy I know you guys love her. lol) To say this nicely and not to throw anyone under the bus but we have a aunt who believes she is a perfect holy roller. lol If your an unwed mother she's very quick to judge. Especially since I seriously doubt she was a virgin bride. Also I know how Alicia feels....a young mother unsure about everything and the one thing you think you can count on is family!For sure this weekend Alicia also found out who her true friends are. But one thing she knows for sure.... My mom and me will always be there for her no matter what!! Alicia is going to be a great mom! I just hope she doesn't let all those dumb people bring her down! Can't wait to meet you baby Keegan!

So this weekend wasn't all sunshine and roses.... Once again I get my period and I start having these awful pains in my stomach and shooting pains in my butt! This weekend was soo unbearable. I think I would rather be in labor again then go through what I did this weekend. I was hot clammy and kept feeling sick to my stomach also. So I finally sucked it up and called the doctor. I have a appointment nexted Wednesday at 9am. I know somethings wrong and I haven't called the doctor because I'm honestly scared to death. But not knowing is so much scarier.

Well I know this blog is super negative lol but it makes me feel better to get things out but on a much happier note.......My friend Holly is pregnant with a healthy baby growing stronger everyday! The past 2 years haven't been the best for her in the pregnacy department but now finally a healthy baby! I'm telling you Holly it's a GIRL! lol Holly has 2 boys right now. She's completely out numbered by boys in her household. Time to even the numbers lol.

Tomorrow is going to be a great day! BJ goes to head start kindergarden! It's only tuedays through thursday in July but he so needs something to ware him out. He just gets super bored. And when he's bored it leads to trouble. It will be good for him.

Well I have to wake Bran up and get him fed before work but I have a few more thoughts for the day so I will blog again later!

LIFE LESSONS 1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Today's day is alot better then yesterday! I think it's the peeks of sunshine I keep getting between the clouds.
Last night Bran got home from work and I kinda gave him the cold shoulder. We both went to bed pretty early because he had to be to work by 3am this morning. So as we are getting in bed he starts to put the moves on me.....So I followed his lead and after wards he asks for a kiss and I just looked up at him and said Nan I was just using you. lol His face was priceless. I tried my hardest not to laugh but when I laughed he did too. So we went to bed on a much better note then a few nights ago.
Today at 4pm I'm going to this place called Kid to Kid. It's a consignment shop. My girlfriend Heather just loves it! So hopefully they will have some uniforms, since both my kids will wear them this year.
So after waiting forever or so it felt like yesterday for Miss Whitney to come over. We watched "He's just not that into you". Ohh I thought it was super cute! Kinda one of those movies that leave you with a good happy feeling. Which we all know yesterday I was in need of that. lol
Well the oven just beeped gotta put the kids corndogs in. Yeah I know super nasty but they like them. lol

Enjoy your peeks of sunshine!

Yea summer vacation! LOL just joking! All day long til the kids go to bed they are fighting. First they fight over what shows to watch, then they fight over what to play and wants the other to play with them. Ohh and the best fight had to be BJ crying because Hannah hurt his webkin turtles feelings. Seriously he's stuffed he has no feelings!
So I'm being a lazy mom and house wife today....well I was one yesterday too but oh well.. love me hate me take me as I am. Right now I'm waiting for my friend Whitney to come over. We are going to watch that movie "he's just not that into you". That's if my crazy children let us.
So my husband comes home tonight. Not sure how I feel about that one. It's been so peaceful without his grouchy butt here! Guess I will see how that one plays out.

Well the weather is still pretty blah today, tr

Back to face the world.....Ehhh!
We had a great time on our long weekend vacation. Went to Hershey, then to see my girlfriend and her family in baltimore and then we took the kids to the baseball game. After taking those kids on a mini vacation I need a real one!!
Yesterday was super hot out and I took the kids over my Granny Trace's house to swim.(and because my husband was being a total asshole. Yeah I thought I may seriously cause him bodily harm. lol) But it was a nice day we swam and I floated in the boat and got some color! Granny brought us home chicken sandwiches!! YUmmy!
So last week was my first week without my daycare kids. I guess since I had so much going on I didn't have much time to miss them. Well today is another story! I kinda feel like I don't know what to do with myself. I know I have my kids home for summer but they are older and don't want much to do with me. Oh well what can you do... Ya know??????
So the highlight of my very boring day had to be going to the grocery store and buying wonderful smelling dryer sheets so I can wash my bed sheets. Ohhhhh I love clean bed sheets. Yeah I have a few screws loose. lol
I was just glancing at the time it has been over 24 hours since I last talked to my husband. How come they can just go to bed angry?? I cant! I tossed and turned all night long hoping he would say something to me. Nope not a word! Honestly I did nothing wrong so I was letting this one ride out and I wasn't saying sorry.....Like I feel like I always have to do first...when it's not even my fault!!! Well he did tried to kiss me goodbye but I pulled the covers over my head and rolled over. He was sadly mistaken if he thought he was getting a kiss right after he flipped the big overhead light on at 4am in the morning!! Bad idea buddy!!
Well that's my vent or maybe I should say bitch for the day! lol

Wow so I did something that I'm still in shock that I did.......This stay at home mom has traded in her apron for a curling iron. I enrolled in beauty school! I have so many mixed emotions right now! I'm super excited and nervous all at the same time!! If that's even possible. So another big thing is I'm going to be taking full time classes. Five days a week 9-4:30. I know people go to school and do this for years. But most people who go to school full time don't have children. Not all but most. So starting August 24th my life and my family's is going to be turned upside down for about 9 months. All of this just happened soo quick! There's no backing out now. Am I crazy for doing this? I'm not sure but I may go crazy. But I think it's meant to be because everything I was worried about  seems like it's falling into place. I love being a stay at home mom but what if something happened to Brandon or we split up. I would have no way of supporting my children. I so can't do it on 8 something an hour at the hotel. So I really think this is a smart decision. It's going to be rough for a while and I know I will be exhausted but in the end it will be well worth it. AAghhh ok now for the panic part!!! I haven't been in school since I was 16!! That's almost 9 years ago..... What if this class is a bunch of freshly graduated high school kids! I'm gonna be the old married hag of the class. I know I'm a worry wart but this is really a big step for me and I'm extremely terrified.
Anywho so after getting back from enrolling yesterday I was telling Brandon about everything and Miss Hannah says no way are you touching my hair......Well Miss Hannah is going to be my first victom. When I learn to cut of course. I'm going to give her a nice bob. hehehe!
On a serious note my mom and Brandon have been extremely supportive! My told me she would get the kids from school a couple days of week. And Brandon told me how proud of me he was. Not that it really matters but it does to me....My dad said "good for her, she will be good at it!" I'm 24 years old and what my parents think and say is still really important to me. I'm still a mommy and daddy's girl!

Have a great day!

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Eleanor Roosevelt